In today’s world, where everyone wants to prove themselves better than others, criticism is one way to show superiority over others. While criticism means disapproval, the words that are usually used for the disagreement are mostly destructive.
We all have faced criticism in our lives. Criticism hurts the most when it comes from those whom we love because it defies the very feeling of love that connects two people.
Why people criticise
The world of comparison and competition has given rise to criticism. Most of the criticism comes from those who are unable to achieve their own dreams but when someone else achieves, they need to give an answer to their own self for their inability. Criticism then becomes the best answer.
Very few people are ever happy to see others succeed. The desire to be in their place in stills a feeling of resentfulness and jealousy.
In a professional set up, people might be unhappy and condemn others because they feel that person is blocking their path of success and achievement. What they fail to see are the efforts and hard work that goes behind any kind of achievement.
Why Criticism hurts
When we do something with lot of hard work and effort, we always look for positive results. Whether the results are positive or negative, every effort draws criticism. When results are positive and draws criticism, it makes us doubt our capabilities and our achievements. Self-doubt hurts a lot.
When negative results bring criticism, we feel ashamed, embarrassed and regretful for our actions, even if we had worked hard. We worry about what others will think of us, forgetting that we tried our best.
Sometimes criticism is verbal but many times it can be non-verbal with actions and body language. The non-verbal criticism brings more pain because we are doubtful if what our heart feels is really true.
Criticism in relationship
Criticism hurts, even more, when it comes from our loved ones. It can be your friends, partner, parents, sibling or any other loved one. The people we love, we expect them to stand with us in every decision and every result of our decisions. We assume that they will understand us more than anyone else in life. But when we fail to see that support and encouragement, that criticism becomes pain.
Relationships means love and if we love someone, we will never want to hurt them. If your loved one has been unsuccessful, support them. Sometimes their failure might be due to their own fault. But it doesn’t mean that we use the words that hurt them.
Love is about respect and if your respect and care for them, you will encourage them and find words to make them understand without hurting them. You need to find the right time and the right moment to express it.
Criticism by strangers
In the digital world, we can receive much criticism from people, who are even complete strangers. Such criticism upsets us because it makes you rethink, if you are doing something correctly or not. Their words hurt more than their opinion.
If people are not a part of your life, their words should never become a part of your life too. If a stranger wants you to do well, they will approach you with a kind and positive attitude.
If you let the world take over you, they will take away your world. So never let those people and their remarks let you down in life.
How to deal with Criticism
We cannot let criticism take over our life and any person take away our peace of mind. Your life belongs only to you and you should not let anyone be in charge of it. Letting you fall down due to criticism is like becoming slave of those words and those people.
The best way to deal with criticism is to accept it. When you accept it, people stop criticizing too. When you acknowledge it, you no longer give them satisfaction that they obtain from you being miserable and depressed.
Accepting criticism also means that you stand for yourself, for what you have done and what you have achieved. You accept that success and failures are a part of life. Some things will work and some will not. You won’t let failure dishearten you.
Accepting is also an answer for those who criticize even your positive actions. It breaks them, it breaks their words and will strengthen you even more. Not every one in the world needs to approve your thoughts and actions. The only justification you owe is to yourself. If you were on right path, if you tried your best and if you feel satisfied in your heart, there is nothing else you should care about.
Yes, as humans we feel hurt and those emotions need to be released. Spend time with yourself, revive the inner strength that might have been affected by those words, analyze your own actions, focus on your next goals of life and go for it.
Once you stop caring for those unwanted words, you will start caring more for yourself. Let criticism, only build you up never knock you down.
Dr Bhawna Gautam